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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Good bye 2011

2011 has come to a close. For us, it has been an "okay" year. I know a lot of people are much more worse off than we are, so complaining will do a whole lot of NOTHING!!!
So, what happened to the Matthews' in 2011?

For one, we finally got solid answers about Hannah's medical condition. It was no longer something mysterious and very scary, but had a name: "celiac disease". We learned everything we could about it and faced it as a family.

We came to terms that Suzie Q was gone...... at least from our household. But we also knew that she had "chosen" her home and that she was making a widow happy.

We lost three family members in rapid succession. I cry even now as I write this remembering the pain of losing them. But I also remember back when my cousin Steve had passed and I was in a depression, it was Jon - my sweet 7 year old who said "Why are you so sad? HE'S IN HEAVEN!!! When I get to heaven I don't ever want to come back here!" Those words of wisdom snapped me out of my deep, dark pit of dispair and for that I am grateful.

We saw Corey work long, hard hours getting his database built. A database that is now in demand and is one that Corey has made a name for himself.

We saw the inside of Wesley ER more than I would have liked, getting Jon's asthma under control (is it ever under control?).

We saw Jon make great, new friends in little league.

We also saw Jon become a really great ball player. I'm one proud mom!

We saw Corey as he coached the Ashley Sporting Goods Team (7 & 8 year olds), and then again as he coached the 7 year old Allstar Nationals as they went all the way to State!!!

We made great friends who we will treasure forever!

We cried as Hannah broke her arm and had to wear a cast for most of the summer. But we cheered as the doc gave her a waterproof one, and then cheered again as she got a bright pink one then a neon green one.

We thanked God when Hannah's cast was taken off and she didn't need surgery (even the orthopedic surgeon was shocked and could not explain how her arm had straightened itself like it had).

We celebrated 11 years of marriage.

We welcomed a new kitten into our house.

We celebrated as Corey "dropped" his retirement packet. Woohoo!!!

We saw Lisa undergo surgery (hysterectomy).

We saw Jon have surgery as well (tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy).

We had a great time at the beach in Galveston celebrating Thanksgiving with Papa, GeGe, Jill, Richie, Eric and Joshua. It was great!

We visited Papa & GeGe several times (traveling safely every time, thank goodness).

We had a great Christmas as my parents visited us.

We were blessed over and over again by The Lord.

Wow, looking back on it this way I think I need to revise "we had an okay year" to "we had a great year".  We had our ups and downs, our "mountain tops" and our "valleys" as they say, but you don't see a tree bearing fruit on a mountain top covered in snow. It's in the valleys that you see the fruit, and it's in those "valleys" that we really grew.  We had a our struggles but we always made it through.
So 2012 - here we come!

Friday, December 30, 2011

Silly little questions

Sorry I haven't been on here lately, I had a great Christmas with my family and now we are settling back into the rhythm of things.

In the spirit of ..... whatever ..... I'm answering questions about myself. Kind of a year-end-wrap-up.

1. What time did you get up this morning?
Around 8ish, I had horrible insomnia last night so I slept in later than usual.

2. How do you like your steak?
Medium to medium-well. Corey's fixes it perfectly every time. He's just awesome like that.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Corey and I just went and saw Sherlock Holmes, the third part, it was great.

4. What is your favorite TV show?
Right now I love watching Impractical Jokers (with Corey, we laugh hysterically the whole way through it). And Gold Rush.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
This will sound cheesy but I'm pretty happy anywhere, as long as I have my kiddos and my husband we seem to adapt to just about whatever the Army throws at us.

6. What did you have for breakfast?
Coffee, I think it was Pumpkin Spice (a k-cup variety) and I ate a couple slices of bacon that I fried up for the kids.

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
I love Mexican, every time we head to Texas we stop at Casa Ole, it's my favorite.

8. What foods do you dislike?
Sushi freaks me out, seafood is not one of my faves either, tofu grosses me out.

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
I already mentioned Casa Ole. Corey and I love Jutumas, it's a little Thai place here. We also love Olive Garden and the Longhorn Steakhouse.

10. Favorite dressing?
Ranch followed closely by Italian. be continued.....

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Wow, Twinkle and the other stuffed animals had quite an exciting time while we sleeping!

Sorry it’s been a couple days since I posted, my migraine has really sent me for a loop. But I’m back and running (well, let’s not get crazy, I’m not literally running – maybe just like walking around at a good pace!).
The kids woke up Friday for their last (half) day of school before their Christmas break, this is what they woke up to:

Tiny-the-cat really, really wanted to get into trouble with all those marshmallows.  She went crazy when she poked her little head up and saw them all over the table. But I distracted her with some gooshies (what we call canned cat food around here, both cats know it by name, all I have to do is say “gooshy” and they go CRAZY).
Jon took one look at Slinky-dog and said “You too, Slinky?” Just like Julius Caesar saying “Et tu Brute?” when Caesar was stabbed by Marcus Brutus. He expects so much more of his toys.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Bad dreams suck!

Jon is going through that stage where he has bad dreams. Poor little guy. Sometimes he’ll tell us about them and sometimes he won’t.  A lot of times he just wants us to lie down with him, he doesn’t want to be alone, and I can’t say I blame him.
Last night he had another horrible one. I had already abandoned my room after The Hubs had begun snoring so loud that Achilles was howling outside our bedroom window. It was ridiculous. I crashed out in Hannah’s room. But around 1 a.m. Calvin the Problem Cat decided to have a party in her room. Hannah can sleep through anything. So he didn’t bother her one bit. But I thought I was going to lose my mind. I got up and scolded Calvin who only poked his head out from under Hannah’s dresser and smirked at me. I swear.
That’s when I heard Jon murmuring in his sleep. I went in and he was tossing and turning, obviously having a bad dream. I lay down next to him and hugged him, “Mama’s here, ‘lil man. Mama’s here.” He settled down and seemed to fall back into a restful sleep.  I crashed out next to him since I figured The Hubs wasn’t going to stop snoring anytime soon.
The next morning he came stumbling into the living room long after the rest of us had gotten up and curled up with a blanket. The Hubs laid down on the floor with him.
“I had another bad dream.” Jon said.
“I’m sorry, buddy.”
“I dreamed we were driving to Florida but you were cooking in the truck so there was no room for me.” He went on.
“I was cooking in the truck?” my husband asked. Seemed like a legitimate question.
“Yes, and there was no room for me, so I had to ride on top. We turned a corner and I fell off.”
Wow, that is a bad dream.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Nothing but trouble!!!

Twinkle, our Christmas elf, has been up to some mischief around our house.
The kids woke up to this Thursday morning:
Yes, Twinkle "decorated" our Christmas tree with their undies (this idea was in nearly all the google searches I found under "fun things to do with your elf on the shelf" so I couldn't resist).

Then they went on the hunt for him.
KK found him up in the lamp.

Now the kids are wondering if they need to take turns staying up at night to make sure he doesn’t do anything else that is ornery. This is fun!
p.s. Then Hannah read KK Elf on the Shelf again:
Awe! What a good big sister!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Guess what is visiting us this Christmas???

So…… I got us the Elf on the Shelf. 

 Last year I really, really wanted to get it but thought it was a little creepy. But this year I threw all caution to the wind and grabbed one.  Granted I should have done it a bit earlier than 10 days before Christmas, but – hey – better late than never, right.
So I hid the elf in the Christmas tree and put the book out on the shelf for all to see. The kids all honed right in on the book as soon as they came in from school. They love books so they immediately demanded that I read them this book. I read it to them and said “Ooooo, do you know what this means? We have an elf in the house. We have to find him!” They searched and searched. I finally clued them in that he was a special elf that was only about 10 inches tall and could hide anywhere. Hannah finally found him in the tree.
The kids were in awe of him.

Jon immediately wanted to touch him so he could steal his magic from him. He also wanted to know why he never blinks and moves. I explained it’s all a part of the magic.
I can’t wait to see how much fun we’ll have with this elf.
The kids have named him “Twinkle”. Jon wanted to name him Buddy, which I thought was great, but KK wasn’t having that. She wanted his name to be Rudolph. Beats me. We finally settled on Twinkle, and I chimed off:
Twinkle, Twinkle, little elf,
Sitting there upon my shelf.
Watching all that’s in your sight,
Reporting back to Santa at night.
Twinkle, Twinkle, little elf
Sitting there upon my shelf.

And yes, I made that up on the spot!
I'll keep you posted on what trouble fun stuff he get's into! Hahahaha!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

This one's gonna piss some people off, good! But sometimes a kid is just a kid!

I love to read blogs. I read, read, read. I can’t get enough of them. But there seems to be something CRAZY going on. And that’s the number of kids who have been diagnosed ADD and ADHD.
Before you start throwing stones at me or defriending me please just listen.  I understand if a child is diagnosed with autism or Asperger’s.  I get it. I do. Please don’t feel like I’m “picking” on you. I also understand if you child legitimately has ADD or ADHD. I’m just thinking that way too many parents are unable to control their kids, so they go see a psychiatrist who is more than happy to give them a diagnosis of ADD or ADHD, because – hey, with a diagnosis the kid keeps coming back and they get more money. Makes sense.
The Hubs and I went down this road a long time ago with our oldest. She was rambunctious, she was a little on the wild side, she didn’t really pay attention in class. So we took her to psychiatrist after psychiatrist. We tried this pill and that pill. It was a roller coaster ride for us; I can’t imagine what it was like for Hannah. I feel like we stole her childhood, I really do.
After years (yea, years people!) we finally said “Enough!”  We realized that she was just being the kiddo that we had allowed to be – free-spirited and a little crazy.
Our daughter didn’t have ADHD, she wasn’t manic depressive, and she wasn’t schizophrenic. SHE WAS A CHILD!!!!!
Maybe if we just accepted that our kids aren’t perfect, that they can rough-house and be kids, that childhood is time for learning and wonderment then we wouldn’t all be rushing our kids in to the shrink for magic pills. Sometimes an imaginary friend is just that, an imaginary friend. How about we step up to the plate and be parents instead of shoving pills down our kids’ throats and setting them in front of the tv or video game. Hey, there’s an awesome idea!
Instead of making excuses become a parent. I’d love for once to hear a story of a parent who took their defiant child to the doc and said “Look, doc, I’m not sure what the problem is, but Little Timmy is out of control, he doesn’t listen, he yells and screams, he’s in trouble at school. We’re thinking it may be ‘Oppositional Defiant Disorder’.”
And the doctor responds with, “I’ll tell you what the problem is – it’s YOU! You aren’t being a parent. You aren’t disciplining Little Timmy when he acts like a turd. He’s screaming out for some order in his world of chaos. He doesn’t have ‘ODD’, he has a negligent parent. Now get the hell out of my office before I call Child Protective Services for neglect. And that’s what this is NEGLECT! Be the parent your child needs you to be. He didn’t ask to be born!”
Ugh. No child is perfect, just like no parent is perfect. We stumble along as best as we can. But let me tell you something, you can’t be your child’s best friend and their parent. You’re their parent first!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Mother Goose, the King James Version

When I was out today The Hubs let the girls do some painting. This bit of painting had a theme to it: the itsy bitsy spider.

Hannah brought me hers. “Here’s the spider, and the sun shining, and my Smurf’s house!” (she loves the Smurfs!)

Too cute!
Then KK brought me her painting:

KK: Look at mine, mother! (This is what she calls me, so grown up!)
Me: Oooo, so bright!
KK: Yes, here’s the spider and all the blood –
Me: (interrupting) Blood?
KK: Yes, the blood, I hate spiders. And here’s the foot coming down to squish the spider (pointing at big, yellow foot).
Me: Oh my!
KK: (with a loud, commanding voice) And God sent down the mighty foot to squish the spider flat!
Me: Wow.

So, this is what it would be like if Mother Goose wrote the bible, I suppose.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Maybe I knocked on particle board and not real wood. That would explain it.

Everything has been going along smooth as glass since Jon’s tonsils were removed. We really hoped that it would clear up a lot of his illnesses. And he hasn’t needed a breathing treatment even once since the surgery, so The Hubs and I have been doing a happy dance around here.  It’s been a relief.
Then last night KK started this hacking cough. I gave her some cough meds and sent her back to bed – let me correct myself; I sent her back to lay down with Hannah. She’s been crashing out in there lately. We really need to nip that in the bud but … yea, that hasn’t happened yet. She was still coughing when I got up to see if we had any Tussionex left from when Jon got sick last. It has codeine in it but it stops the cough and helps the kiddo sleep. I’m standing in front of the fridge when she walks in and vomits all over the floor – twice. Awesome. I help her to the bathroom to clean her up, change her clothes and get her to her own room (which is right next to the bathroom). As I’m cleaning up the mess in the kitchen she comes in to inform me she got sick in bed.
“That’s okay, sweetie, mommy will clean it up.” I went to her room but her bed was clean. “There’s no vomit here, honey.”
“Not here, in Hannah’s room.”
Uh-oh. I hurried in there and the smell hit me. I turned on the bedside lamp to discover the comforter that Hannah is snuggled up with has piles of vomit covering it. I wake her up and check her for any vomit, seeing that she doesn’t have any on her I tell her she will have to sleep in my room so I can wash the sheets and comforter. Off she shuffles to my room as I strip the bed, walking around the bed I step in a gooey puddle. Yuck!!!! More vomit!
LOTS of cleaning later I check on KK, she is sleeping soundly in her bed. I wash my feet (again) and decide to crash out with Jon. Sleep comes immediately.  About 3 a.m. my eyes fly open. I can hear Jon wheezing. No, no, no! This is not happening! I reach over and lay my hand on his chest; his heartbeat is wild, too fast. I listen to his breathing: shallow and quick. My heart absolutely breaks.
I get up and start setting up his nebulizer. Since he is sleeping well I can at least get it going with the mask attachment and hold it up to him so he breathes it in. While I am holding the mask up him I whisper “Nice deep breaths buddy. Slow down your breathing. Nice and slow.”  It works.
At 6:30 he woke up, his temp was 101.3 I gave him a dose of Motrin and another breathing treatment.
KK got up feeing tons better, thank goodness.
Looks like I have 2 kids home today. I really didn’t have anything better to do. Really.  

Thursday, December 8, 2011

My Tiny’s growing up

I can’t believe my little tiny kitten that I brought home just three short months ago has grown so big so quickly. I know she has a lot more growing to do, but holy cow – she’s growing like a weed.
She was so itty-bitty when we brought her home; of course she was just 6 weeks old. Now she’s beating up Calvin, though she is still terrified of Achilles.
3 months ago:

We had a scary moment when got back from Galveston and found that the guy we had taking care of the cats had left the window open. In his defense, in the past that was what he was instructed to do as Calvin will lay in wait for you to open the door and then dash out. So I had told him to just crack the window so Calvin could get back in. But this time I left instructions to make sure that the window was not opened since we have Tiny (yes, her name is Sarabi, but we all call her “Tiny”) and she CANNOT got out. As soon as we pulled in the drive my eyes spotted the open window and my heart leapt out of my chest. Corey couldn’t find his house keys (kid you not) so I literally crawled through the window.
Calvin immediately came bounding up to me, but Tiny was nowhere to be found. We searched and searched. We talked to neighbors, no one had seen her. I finally called Beau, who had taken care of the cats. He immediately said “Oh no! I forgot about not opening the window!” He admitted to opening the window the very first day we left (5 days earlier) and couldn’t really remember when he had seen Tiny last. After searching for about 45 minutes I dried my tears and figured I needed to alert “pet finders”, who Tiny was micro-chipped through. I walked back inside and decided to check one last thing: the litter box. Calvin goes outside most of the time, but of course Tiny goes in the litter box. If the litter box was used a lot then she was obviously inside most of the time, if it was empty then she probably got out when Beau first opened that window. I went to check the box and saw something move in my room, my heart leapt. I whipped around and ran back to the doorway, there was Tiny, sitting on her back legs with her front paws up in the begging position (she has sat like that since we brought her home).
She was skinny and skittish. This had obviously taken its toll on her. I didn’t even think about how this separation would affect her. Poor Tiny. I’m not sure she had eaten much (or drank that much either) since we left.
The kids were so excited to know she was okay. She was hiding in a box under our bed.
She shadowed me for days after we returned; I couldn’t even go check the mail without her sitting at the door and howling this horribly loud meow.
At night she crawls under the covers and snuggles close up and sleeps right next to me.
Now we know that we can’t just leave her at the house when we go places, she just can’t take the separation.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The wonder that is Jon

Everyone that knows Jon knows that he is soft-spoken and quiet. He is sweet and loving and kind. He is one of a kind. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He gets his feelings hurt easily. Some may call him a sissy; I call these people bullies and pity them. He is wonderful, he has a huge heart. He can’t stand to see a dead animal on the side of the road. He worries if he sees a deer too close to the highway. He can't stand to go to the animal shelter because he wants to take every one of the dogs home.
Here lately he has had some troubles with nightmares. I’ve taken to lying down with him; trying to fend off the noises that go bump in the night.
Last night The Hubs and I were up watching TV when Jon walked in carrying a blown-up balloon, he handed it to me and walked out. Baffled my husband and I weren’t sure what to think, and then I looked at the balloon. It had writing on it:

It reads: I love you. Will you sleep in my rum (room)? It has a picture of our house with a drawing of Jon’s room and an arrow pointing to his room. Is this great or what?
This reminds me of myself when I was his age. I used to do the same thing, I always wrote notes to my mom and dad. For some reason it was easier to communicate with them that way.
He melts my heart :)

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Finding the Christmas spirit

As a parent, and a Christian, I want to make sure that I set an example for my kids. As we all know kids learn by example, so maybe I’m not the brightest and best example to be learning from but I’m trying.
When we returned from our Thanksgiving trip to Galveston we put up our Christmas tree, then this past weekend we put up a smaller 4 foot tree with fiber-optic lights in the front foyer. The kids love the little tree and they love that there is actually two trees in the house (and for the record I have let them know that more trees do NOT mean more presents).
They were pushing me to put up the other tree that we have in storage (yes, we have three trees, shut up, don’t judge me!). I put my foot down and said “No, we aren’t putting up 3 trees! Two is enough!” Then I had an idea (light bulb moment) that we should find a “home” for the third tree. It’s a nice 6 foot lighted tree, still in the box.
So I turned to Craiglist, looked under the “wanted” section and immediately found someone looking for a tree, a mom with kiddos who is just having a tough time. I emailed her and figured if she calls then she calls, if not I’ll keep looking. But the next morning I got a call from the lady that put up the ad. She was happy that I had responded I could hear a little one in the background asking if I was the lady with the tree and if they were going to get have a tree. We agreed to meet up at a local store so I could give her the tree; she was grateful and very nice.
I told my kiddos what was going on, I explained that lots of families out there don’t have enough money to put food on the table let alone get a Christmas tree or presents. I then explained that I had found a woman with children who didn’t have a tree this year. All the kids were in agreement: we needed to get this tree to her and her kids. Together we loaded the boxed tree (along with some ornaments) into my car and headed out to the meeting location.
She was there right on time, very nice and extremely appreciative. She had her kids with her and they were bubbling with excitement. I helped her load the tree up in her car and wished her and her children a very Merry Christmas. My kids wished them a Merry Christmas as well.
As we drove away Hannah was beaming, “Mom, that felt good.”
“That’s what I mean when we say it’s better to give than receive.”
“It is, mom, it really is.”

Monday, December 5, 2011

Girl cooties and horrible, just horrible!

I was pretty tired this morning when I handed out the kids’ uniforms. A little while later Hannah came into the kitchen and said “Momma, my shirt must have shrunk.” I turned to take a good look at her, she was nearly busting out of the seams.
“Oh, I must’ve mixed up your shirt with Jon’s.  Lemme look.” A quick peek at the tag showed that I had indeed mixed up their shirts.
I poked my head into Jon’s room, “He, buddy, is your shirt really big?”
“Yes!” he yelled at me while his head was in his sock drawer. Little things like this can really send him into a mood. Awesome.
“Ok, well, I mixed you your shirt with Hannah’s. Let’s switch them out.” Jon took off the too-big shirt and handed it over. I took it to Hannah’s room, gave her that one, grabbed Jon’s shirt from her and ran that one back to Jon. “Here ya go.” I held out the shirt for Jon to take.
Jon just looked at the shirt like I was holding a dirty diaper. I continued to hold it out for him, “Hello, here’s your shirt.” Nothing, just a stare. “What’s up, buddy?”
“I need a new shirt. Not that one.”
“But she only had it on for about two minutes. It’s not dirty. You can wear it.”
He just stared at his with absolute contempt.
“What’s up, little man?”
“It had girl-boobs on it. Can I please get a fresh shirt?” His eyes were pleading with me.
“Oh, girl-boobs. I understand.” I went and got him a fresh uniform shirt and brought it into him. “Here a go, I’ll wash the other one today.”
“Thanks, mom.”

And so it begins……..

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Too funny not to pass on

Jon’s surgery went great (yea, I know it’s been 2 weeks, shut up) and his recovery was a breeze. That kiddo is great!
The morning of his surgery we got up early (we had to be there by 6:15 a.m.) and got ready – doing 2 breathing treatments before leaving the house as instructed by surgery team.  Corey stayed with the girls and got them off to school and then met us there. When we got there it was nice and quiet, there were five beds in the children’s ward and Jon was the only one in there. SWEET! Jon opted to bring two of his Angry Bird stuffed animals for comfort (technically one was an Angry Pig) plus some Star Wars Legos. We played with the Legos and goofed around until the nurse came around with his “happy juice”. I was instructed to make sure he stayed in bed since the meds would make him loopy; turns out it made him hilariously ‘drunk’.  He slurred his words and was just too funny.
The anesthesiologist came in concerned about his recent ER visit and wanted to listen to his lungs. He was a giant of a man who towered over my little guy but you could tell he was used to kids. He was gentle and soft spoken, which is good since Jon’s drunken state made him a little difficult to work with.
Nurse: Hey, little man, I’m gonna need you to cough for me.
Jon: I’m not gonna do it! (shaking his head at the man)
Nurse: I really need a good cough!
Jon: Then YOU do it!  (Jon is now pointing at him)
Nurse: Alright, I didn’t wanna do this, but (he picks up Jon’s Angry Birds) if you don’t cough I’m going to have to throw these at you.
Jon: Hey, Hey, HEY! (wagging a finger at him) We aren’t allowed to throw things inside!
Nurse: Come on, buddy, one cough and I’ll be one my way.
Jon: Ok, ok, okaaaaaaaaay. Just one.  *cough*  That’s it!
Nurse: Perfect! Thanks little man!

The nurses assured me that it’s the well behaved kids who act all crazy on the meds and the parents are mortified, and it’s the wild, out of control kids who take the meds and suddenly become well-behaved and their parents are begging for a prescription of the stuff.
They wheeled Jon out at 7:30 a.m. and he was done by 7:45. Shocking. The nurses said it took a little longer since Jon’s asthma acted up during the procedure and they had to give him a treatment. Wow, talk about fast!
We were home by noon.
He has had no complications and done great. He was back to eating scrambled eggs and Ramen noodles by the next day, and was eating McDonald’s chicken nuggets by day 4.
Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and well-wishes. They are, as always, appreciated!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I’m Baaack!

I hope your Thanksgiving holiday was as great as mine. We had a fabulous time in Galveston. We kicked it off Tuesday, oh yes – Tuesday. We were supposed to leave Wednesday, and I was in the mind-set to leave then but The Hubs came home around 2:30 Tuesday afternoon and announced we were leaving. Thankfully I had already packed the kids bags, but this meant that my clothes and The Hubs clothes were kind of just thrown in and away we went. He does this to me every time we go anywhere, I should be prepared by now, but for some reason I am never ready for his “Let’s leave a day early” craziness he puts me through. Thankfully the only thing we forgot was his OTC meds, like melatonin (that was fun when we arrived at the hotel that night and discovered no sleepy pills for him, which I was totally blamed for.) And his heartburn meds was left behind (my fault as well).
So we got no more than fifteen miles down the road and the storm of the century hit. Ok, maybe it wasn’t that bad but it was ugly. We trudged 140 miles through visibility that was 10 yards at most in traffic where we were pretty sure nearly 90% of the other drivers were suicidal. It wasn’t pretty. So in Baton Rouge we decided to find shelter. We got a nice big suite at a brand new Holiday Inn Express with 2 beds plus a sleeper sofa. We all climbed into bed only to have the kids fight over the sleeper sofa. Oh no – it wasn’t who was GOING to sleep in it but rather who HAD to sleep in it. “I wanna sleep with mamma.” “You always get to sleep with mamma! It’s my turn!” “I love my mamma!” “Not as much as I do!”
Yea, I should feel super-duper loved but I just wanted to get some rest. It was finally decided: boys in one bed, girls in the other. It worked. I got settled in nice and comfy, ready to drift off into dreamland when the buzzsaw started. My husband snores, and when I say snores what I wanna  do it mix the words “snore” and “roar” together because that’s what he does. It’s horrible. So I laid there and listened to him and mentally poked voodoo pins into a voodoo doll of him. Around midnight, suffering from complete delirium I said “So help me, if you don’t stop that snoring I will go get my own room. Now shut it!!!” I’m not sure if I worked magic or if he was just too scared to go back to sleep but he didn’t snore anymore.
I was up by 5:30 in the morning and ready to get on the road. We changed routes and decided to take the ferry over to Galveston Island. So. Much. Fun. The kids flipped out. It took about 20 minutes and the whole time dolphins were swimming all around the boat. It was great.
So we got to the beach house. The cousins were already waiting for our kiddos. They hit the beach and had a blast. It was windy and chilly, but that didn’t stop them from getting soaking wet, with all their clothes on. Thank goodness the house had an outside shower downstairs, cuz let me tell ya, we wore that shower out!
The house is gorgeous, just beautiful. Here’s a pic with KK headed up to it:

(A huge thank you to Grandpa Ken and Jo! We love you and are so grateful for your generosity!)
Every morning we would walk the beach in search of shells. And without fail there would be 20 or so bright blue jelly fish washed up on the beach:

Thanksgiving was great. We had a feast!
On Friday we took the kids to the Rainforest CafĂ© for lunch and afterwards they rode the boat ride. Then they shopped in the store. Jon discovered the Build-A-Bear workshop that was there. I’m not sure they have ever even seen a Build-A-Bear store. He was amazed. He immediately picked out a frog and announced we needed to “make a frog”. One of the workers came over, and I have to really give them props - they were great. They had Jon pick out a heart, talk to the heart, rub it and put it in the frog, and then they let him push the pedal to the fluff machine while they filled the frog. They “sewed” him up, and sent him over to bath and scrub his frog, then clothe him and name him and make him a birth certificate. Jon picked out camo clothes for this frog who he named “Froggie”, as well as camo boxer shorts.
Well, KK was A-Maz-ed!!! She NEEDED one to. I don’t blame her; with all this I wanted one too. KK picked out a penguin. The guy who worked there was just as awesome with her. She went through all the motions of cleaning up her penguin, and brushing her up, picked out clothes, named her “Happy Feet” (yea, original I know – but she’s only 5) and made a birth certificate.
After this we hit the Strand, which is a big shopping place. And guess what? Palace horses!

That’s what KK called them. Too funny! I love that girlie-girl!
We had a great visit with Jack, Gloria, Jill, Richie (Or Rickie as my kids insist on calling him) Eric and Joshua.  A storm blew in Saturday so we headed back a day early (yes, driving again in the rain –fun!). And this time when we stopped for the night I warned The Hubs “If you snore tonight and ruin my sleep I will mess you up!” He still snored but I just jabbed him in the side and he’d stop. Magic!

Monday, November 21, 2011

I’m not proud of my outbursts, well not usually

I try not to lose my cool. I am not proud of myself when I do. But here lately I have been teetering on the edge of insanity with these kids. It’s Thanksgiving break and they are already driving me bonkers. Seriously.
Thursday was their last day of school, so basically they have ten days off. I remember back when I was in school, we got four days; Thanksgiving Day, that Friday and then the weekend. When did it leap to ten whole days? Ludicrous I tell ya.
And with Jon recovering from his surgery he isn’t supposed to go play outside, and we aren’t supposed to have kids over – you know, germs and all. So it’s like we are in prison and we’re all driving each other nuts.
Plus, we are on a countdown to leaving to Galveston to spend Thanksgiving with The Hubs’ parents. SO EXCITED! I can hardly wait, and neither can the kids. So that doesn’t help one bit.
But, anyway, the kids are getting a bit testy with each other, and now they trying to pull “get out of my room” and “I only want to play with one of you and I want to exclude the other one” and the best one yet “to get into my room you have to have a password”. This is The Boy’s favorite, and he is only telling my oldest daughter the password which is reducing my youngest daughter to tears, which I could pass off as just life and having siblings but she is also the one that is being excluded. So – yea – no fun for her. And I can feel her pain since I was the youngest in our family as well.
So, and again I am not proud of this outburst, after hearing for the billionth time this morning that The Youngest did not have the proper password in order to enter The Boy’s room where he and his older sister was watching a movie, and after watching her hang her head and walk away from the door slowly I saw red.
“Hey! Ya wanna know what MY password for the whole house is?” I bellowed out. “My password is 'there are no more passwords or you’re gonna get your butt whooped', that’s what it is.”
Jon looked at me for maybe three seconds and said “That’s probably the best password EVER! I’m using that one!”
On a side note, all three kiddos are in his room watching tv happily, so I kinda feel like I won.     

Saturday, November 19, 2011

They’re using my words against me!

Hannah and KK are sitting at the table; I am in the laundry room folding clothes though I can clearly hear what they are saying. KK says “I’m getting hungry, guess I’ll go ask the maid to make me something to eat.” Next thing I know she pokes her head in the laundry room and says “Mom can you make me something to eat?”
“Sorry, dear, I’m a bit busy here with the laundry. How ‘bout you go ask the maid to make you something, mmmmkay?”
“Oh. Well, you always say ‘guess I have to do it since it’s the maid’s day off’ when the house is a mess or something needs cleaned.”
That’s it, I’m censoring everything I say, The Youngest is using my words against me.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Pitiful, Just Pitiful

Jon’s tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy went great. The whole procedure lasted about 15 minutes, he went back around 7:30 and was out by 7:45.
Ok, first let me back up – at our pre-op appointment with Dr. Hodges, as we were leaving I was totally expecting the whole “See you tomorrow” and a wave, but no – not this doc. He sat down, looked me in the eye and said “I promise you I will give him the best possible care I can. I will treat him as if he were my own son, Ms. Matthews. I just want to assure you that.” I was shocked and touched. No other doctor in the past for any other surgery had ever done this. It meant the world to me. I would love to send out a mass letter to every single doctor out there and say “Hey, listen up! This – this right here, what this doctor did – it took no more than one minute, but it brought me to tears and put my mind at ease. It also made me a huge fan.”
Ok, now back to the surgery, everything went great and they were prepping him for going home (they released him at noon) and they were telling us what he could eat and what was on the “definitely do not eat” list. One of those “do not eat” items was bacon. The Boy loves his bacon. He adores it. He would eat it every day if he could. Tragic.
So today Jon was craving a strawberry shake and I promised him Sonic shakes and slushies anytime he wanted one. So as we were grabbing a shake he mentioned that he really, really, really wanted a new Halo Lego vehicle to put together. *sigh* I’m a sucker for this kid.
We ran in and grabbed a really cool one that he had eyes on for quite some time (plus grabbed some goodies for the girls), and then went to stand in line. We had our stuff up on the belt, but it was only a few items, so the lady behind me began putting her groceries up on it. First item up: BACON.  (also, the lady in front of me was writing a check and was having a difficult time, so we were in for a wait!) Jon saw the bacon and gasped, grabbing my arm and pointing to the yumminess.
“Mom, look, baaaaaaacon. I remember when we used to eat bacon. I love it so much. Will we ever eat it again mom? Will we?”
The lady looked at me with shock and pity, almost like she thought I couldn’t afford to feed my child, but before I could laugh it off or answer Jon, the Boy sighed so dang loud saying “BAAAAAACOOOOOON!”
By now the ladies jaw had dropped.
“Sorry,” I said. “He loves bacon, but he had his adenoids and tonsils taken out yesterday so bacon or anything scratchy is off the menu right now.”
Relief swept over her face. “Oh!”
I then looked at Jon, “Yes, you’ll be able to have bacon again. In two weeks to be exact.”
But still, I could not have left soon enough.

Monday, November 14, 2011

We're Ready for the Next Surgery!

Jon has his surgery on Wednesday; this morning I got a phone call from the Woodall Lowery Outpatient Surgery Center where Jon will have his surgery. She just wanted to touch base and go over his medical history. She also said, since all the centers were computer linked with the clinics and hospitals in the area that they get an alert if a patient has been in the ER in the past 30 days and she noticed Jon had been to Wesley Medical Center’s ER on the 3rd. Why, yes, yes he had, I informed her.
We went over everything and it does look like he will be able to go ahead and get his tonsils and adenoids removed as planned. She was a very nice lady, with great bed-side-manners. Though I think I caught her a bit off-guard when she asked about his weight.
The conversation went like this:
Nurse: Mmmmm-kay, and he’s 4 foot 2 inches tall?
Me: Yep.
Nurse: And, let’s see here…… oh, that can’t be right. We have his weight at 50 pounds.
Me: No, that’s the right weight.
*crickets chirping*
Nurse: Does he any other medical problems that we aren’t aware of?
Me: Dysfunctional taste buds that only allow him to eat McDonald’s chicken nuggets and Ramen noodles.
Nurse: I didn’t mean it like that. I am so sorry. It’s just that ….. Wow, he must be a skinny boy.
Me: No worries, and yes – he is quite skinny.

After I hung up I giggled a bit, I’m sure she will word her conversations differently from now on. She did not offend me one bit. He is skinny. He does need to put some weight on those bones. But, quite frankly, Jon is perfect just the way he is!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Parenthood + Surgery = Putting Your Kids First and Dealing With It!

So, my surgery date was November 3rd and everything was going great, Jon had been super-duper sick but had gotten all better (he is scheduled to have his tonsils and adenoids removed next week). After trick-or-treating on Halloween he did have a mild asthma attack (minus 25 cool points to me for forgetting his inhaler), but he got through it. Then Wednesday, the day before my surgery the school called and says “he’s coughing so much that he’s gagging and throwing up.” Awesome! I picked him up and his health quickly plummeted. His fever spiked up to 100.7, not bad but not great and his wheezing was HORRENDOUS!!!! I was giving him breathing treatments as much as medically advisable. 8:00 p.m. rolled around and I loaded up the girls to go spend the night at Ms. Stacey’s, who would then take them to school in the morning (a huge “thank you” to her) without my boy in tow. We hoped and prayed Jon would magically be healed and we could run him over to her house before I went to check in at the hospital at 6 the next morning. That didn’t happen.
We showered and got ready for bed, he climbing into bed with Corey since we had already made up Jon’s room for me as “Mom’s Recovery Room” and I climbed into Jon’s bed, but I just lay there and listened to him coughing more and more, the wheezing became more and more evident. It wasn’t long before Corey poked his head in the door and said “We need to head to the ER”. I jumped out of bed and said “My thoughts exactly!”
Wesley Medical is a great hospital here in Hattiesburg. We love them. They are thoughtful and observant and, well, private. They took Jon immediately to a “cardiac room” and Corey and I knew we were in for a doozie of a night. His oxygen sats were hovering around 90%, they would give him a treatment, the sats would zoom up to 98 maybe even 99 but within three minutes of the treatments ending his sats would be right back down to 90%.
His x-rays showed haziness but no pneumonia. Good but not-so-good. The ER Doc said we had moved from “seasonal asthma” to “full-blown-asthma” and that we needed to see a specialist. After several more breathing treatments and some steroids we were released ….. it was almost 3:30 a.m. We went home and slept for one hour, and then we got up and headed back to Wesley Medical for my surgery.
At 6:00 a.m. I checked in for my surgery and was promptly taken back to prep, with my husband and son in tow. They sat in Pre-Op with me as I got into my gown, got my IV started, got counseled by anesthesiologists, chatted with my doctor who would perform my surgery (telling him about our adventurous night), and at 7:30 I was rolled back for surgery. During the 2 hours that I was under they went to the little coffee shop and tried to stay awake. At 9:30 their smiling faces were the first thing I saw before demanding drugs, then my doctor came in, I asked how long I would be in recovery and he said “until 2:30”. I told my husband to take Jon home and sleep, they did not resist.
At exactly 2:30 p.m. his head popped back in the curtains of post-op, and following him were my nurses who took me to the third floor to my private room, where I was situated and informed I was on a liquid diet. Awesome. I sent Corey downstairs to Starbucks for a mocha, God love the man - he immediately went and got me one.
At 3:30 p.m. Corey and Jon left to pick up the girls, promising to come back in a bit with the touchpad so I’d have something to do that night just in case I got bored. Only, sometimes plans don’t work out the way we want them to. Corey was just too tired. It’s okay, I told him, I’ll be fine.
I told the kids how much I loved them and promised to see them the next day when they got home from school. They were crying. I had never not been there. They may have gone and spent the night somewhere else, but “mom” had never been absent from the home except to give birth to the kiddos. So it was hard on them, for that I am sorry.
I slept off and on. Checked FaceBook. Went to the bathroom a lot (the doc ok’ed my catheter to be removed around 5:00 that day, so WOOHOO!). My nurse was super great. She came in and checked on me and finally came in and just sat and we had a great conversation. That was nice.
My doctor was back by 7:30 the next morning and declared me fit to go home, so by the time Corey got there after 8:00 I was ready, all I had to do was eat some breakfast and change clothes. That was easy. What wasn’t so easy? THE WALK TO THE CAR!!!! I thought it’d be like when I had my babies and they rolled me to the front door in a wheelchair and my husband would pull up to the front door and help me into the vehicle. Yea, not so much. The nurse comes in and says “I’ll walk with you to your car.”
Yea, but we’re on the third floor and he parked in the parking garage. Crap.
But I did it!
We got home and I got situated in my recovery room. Jon got to go on the field trip to the Petrified Forest (along with Hannah).
I huge THANK YOU goes out to Susan for bringing us dinner. If you live in the Hattiesburg area please check out What’s For Supper. It’s delicious food. Seriously.
And I’m on the mend. No news on any lab results. Jon has his surgery on Wednesday and I get my stitches out on Thursday. Keep your fingers crossed for us!  Thanks for sending good thoughts our way!

Monday, October 31, 2011

More news on Santa!

While continuing on my quest to find the truth behind Santa and his family; namely if he has his own biological children, I stumbled upon a website that answered it (though not to my liking):  It’s a little confusing because it has like a kajillion questions on there to choose from, so you have scroll down and find your question. I know! SO HARD.
Anyway, so I had pretty much blown off that site but then yesterday Debbie (my cuz, well my cousin-in-law, but they embrace me whole-heartedly and I do the same for them, and I love them all dearly), anywhere, where was I? Oh, yes, Debbie brought my attention back to that website. And I kind of blew it off again (and for that I am sorry!), but maybe this is exactly what I am looking for.
Maybe Santa didn’t want to publish a book for the whole world to know his business, and YET he also kind of wanted to get the word out there about his kids. Hey, pay attention here! I don’t wanna lose ya!
So, here is what the website says:
Does Santa have children; can you tell me about them?
Yes, I have a Son and Daughter; they both work here at North Pole Village. Both of them are outdoorsy, my Son is a reindeer trainer and my Daughter is an exercise rider. Mrs. Claus and I are extremely proud of both of them. Santa also considers all the children in the world a part of his family.
Which now raises another question: Since there is no other “humans” up at the North Pole, and only elves, what about their “social lives”, you know: their dating!!!!!! What about that? Are they shackled to a life of loneliness? Do they “borrow” dear ol’ dad’s reindeers to go clubbing in another country? What if Santa’s daughter gets a little reckless and gets pregnant, there are no OB’s up at the North Pole? OR ARE THERE???? I mean, the elves probably reproduce (which is a visual I didn’t even want), so is there a hospital up there? If so, who are the docs? Are the doctors elves? If so, where do they get their degrees? Is there a college up there? I thought elves only worked in Santa’s workshop (and in trees making Keebler cookies)!
Maybe I should have left well enough along, because now I have even more questions than I had before. Dang!
Anyway, if you have any pressing questions about the big man in the red suit check out that website, and another big thanks to Debbie for helping me out!!!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

There’s probably a freeze-framed still pic from the store’s surveillance video hung up behind the counter of me in the bookstore

I decided to head to the bookstore and do some research on Santa to see if I can get to the bottom of this debate “does Santa have kids of his own?”
I headed straight to the nice lady behind the counter to see if she could help.
Me: Excuse me, but do you have any autobiographies of Santa.
(blank stare)
Me: I need something pretty in-depth that he’s written about his personal life. You know, like the one Russell Brand did – My Booky Wook.
(crickets chirping)
Me: Maybe a really good memoir?
Lady behind counter: I’m sorry, who’s the author?
Me: Santa.
Lbc: (tapping on her computer) And the first name?
Me: Oh, sorry, that is the first name. The last name is Claus.
Lbc: (blank stare is back) Excuse me?
Me: Santa Claus.
Lbc: Are you looking for a kid’s book?
Me: No, I’m looking for a memoir or an autobiography all about his home life.
Lbc: I don’t understand.
Me: I have questions that need to be answered. I sent him an email, but he’s pretty tricky. He totally dodged the question. I’m thinking he’s hiding something.
Lbc: Ma’am…
Me: So, I need to do some research on it. Although, now that I think about it, if he won’t answer me then why would he put it in a book for everyone to read. In fact, if he was a smart businessman and someone like me asked him a question then he would just tell them to buy the book. That’s what I would do. Hmmmm.
Lbc: Ma’am, (I’m in pretty deep thought here and I think she’s rude for interrupting my thoughts) am I correct in understanding you want a book –
Me: (my turn to interrupt) -a memoir-
Lbc: Riiiight, a memoir, writing by Santa Claus? THE Santa Claus?
Me: That’s right.
Lbc: Uh-huh. You do realize that Santa is not a real person? Right?
Me: Look, if you don’t want to sell me the book then just say so, but don’t insult my intelligence in talking lies. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll be taking my business elsewhere. Good day!
Looks like I’ll have to find other avenues to do my research. Seems like there is quite a conspiracy going on.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Well played, Jolly-man, Well played.

So I got an email back from good old St. Nick and I gotta hand it to the old man, he is one crafty guy.
Here is that email:
Hi Lisa Matthews,Thanks for sending me your questions. I have your answers written below:
Do you have any kids?
Why of course I do…all the children of the world I love just like they were my own children. Why else would I spend so much time bringing joy to kids?
If you want, you can ask me different questions.
- Santa

Way to skirt the question, pal. That was very tricky of you. And thanks for inviting me to ask more questions, you can bet your sweet …. Uh… you can bet your belly that shakes like a bowl full of jelly I’ll be taking you up on that. I plan on deposing your … uh …….  Let’s just say it’s on like Donkey Kong (my gal-pal Connie got me saying that and I just can’t stop)!!!

Oh, and yes I know I promised you guys pics of Mitchell Farms, I just didn’t say I would do it by Halloween. I’d say it’s safe to say you can look for them around Easter ‘mkay?

Thursday, October 27, 2011

I bet none of y’all spent a good portion of the day researching this!

So I’ve been thinking a lot about Christmas lately. I want to play Christmas carols so bad that I can hardly stand it. Yea, I know Halloween hasn’t even come yet, shut up and quit judging me!
So I started thinking about Santa and Mrs. Claus. My question is this: do they have any children? I googled it and I’m not getting a really clear answer. In fact I’m now more confused than even.
I went to but the question never came up, so of course it wasn’t answered.
I finally found a website that allows you to ask Santa a question: but when I submit the question it tells me the website is under maintenance. I think they are trying to avoid the subject.

I’ll keep trying and if y’all know the answer hit me up.

Monday, October 24, 2011

KK has all the answers

There is a commercial out there that makes KK laugh and laugh, it's the Jimmy Dean commercial with the low cloud that' feeling a bit foggy, you can see it here:

So this morning it was especially "froggy" as KK says. We are on the way to school when she says "I know what these clouds need! They need some Jimmy Dean!!!"
She just cracks me up!!!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Halloween Fun!

In the month of October Central Baptist School is doing lots of fundraisers. I am in charge of 1st and 2nd grades. We head up to the school during lunchtime and sell baked goods and little fun trinkets. It's been fun.
Today I am selling what every parent wishes for and what every teaches secretly begs that their students will be blessed with.
That's right, today I am selling brains.
They are popcorn balls colored with red food dye. Gross, huh?
Here's a closer look:

Gggggggrrrrrrrroooooooossssssss - the kids will love them!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Decorating Pumpkins

This past weekend we went to Mitchell Farms for some fall time fun (more on that in another posting). We had so much fun. Seriously. There was so much to do there, but really I'll do another posting on that. Our last stop at Mitchell Farms was picking out pumpkins.The Hubs and I are true believers in "pick out your own pumpkin but make sure you can carry it yourself, that goes for you too, KK". Yea, we're awesome parents like that.
Each kiddo picked out a pumpkin that they loved and we loaded up and went home. We were hot and sweaty and were ready to decorate our gourds.
Here's a pic of the pumpkins before the decorating began:
Lovely, aren't they?
Then here's the supplies I got:

Check out the decorating kits:
Pretty cool, huh? We decided this year to not carve the pumpkins. The kids just don't get into that yuckiness, so I was okay with this idea, though I thought it would be great to spray paint them. I bought white and gold. All three kiddos went wild for gold.
Let the spraying begin:

Then the decorating began.

Each package held enough puffy stickers to make four faces. Jon picked Franken-pumpkin:

Yea, that's blood dripping down. He's a boy, what can I say?
Hannah picked out the scary pumpkin:

KK fell in love with the scary pumpkin as well:
They love them and so do I. Plus, no pumpkin guts!!! How is your pumpkin decorating going?

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Obviously we’re dealing with 2 completely different characters

I love Halloween costume shopping with the kiddos. They crack me up. We visited Spirit Halloween store yesterday for some costume shopping, I like Spirit because they allow you to try on the costumes. That’s a huge bonus since we have bought many costumes that looked great on the outside, but once we got them home they didn’t fit at all or look like the package image.
Hannah was wishy-washy. She went from Monster High characters, to girlie costumes, and then she saw the “tween” version of Alice in Wonderland. It was love at first sight.  Plus it was so cute, she just fit so perfectly as Alice.
KK immediately went for a Disney Princess costume that cost well over $100 so I started showing her other costumes in hopes that she would change her mind. Accomplished! She spotted a Monster High “cheerless cheerleader” and wanted needed that one. It’s super-duper cute, so I agreed.
Jon was a little more difficult. He’s picky. We checked out all the Star Wars costumes, and then browsed the other aisles.  He tried on an Angry Birds costume ( the red one) and I loved it but it was too big and bulky and he didn’t feel comfortable. We then tried on a sumo wrestler. It blows up with its very own fan. I laughed so hard my sides hurt. But Jon didn’t want it, no matter how much I begged and pleaded. Then he spotted a Jawa; one of the Star Wars characters whose eyes glow red. “That one!” he declared. And so it was.
We also got red hairspray for KK. We need to find a blond wig for Hannah, too. They were out.
The bill was scary high, but Halloween only comes once a year so it’s worth it.
When we got home the kids were dying to tell their dad all about the costumes they picked as well as the costumes they didn’t pick out.
Jon said “I thought about being Dark Vader.”
Me: Who?
Jon: Dark Vader
Me: You mean Darth Vader.
Jon: No, I mean Dark Vader, for  “the dark side”.
Me: But his name is darTH, with a TH. TTTTHHHHHHH.
Jon: DarK, with a K on the end. KKKKKKKKKKuh.
So I grabbed my laptop and looked up Darth Vader on YouTube.
Me: Hey Jon come look at this.
Jon comes over and watches the video, I then point out the title says “Darth” Vader. Not Dark Vader.
Jon looks at it for a while.
Jon: He does look a lot like Dark Vader to me, I bet their brothers.
And with that he goes back to playing.
Oh well.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Lost in translation with a five year old

KK's having trouble sleeping at night. It's no fun. She's up and down, up and down. We put her to bed in her own bed but she doesn't want to be alone, she wants to be with Hannah. But Hannah needs her own room. Granted, usually Hannah doesn't mind if KK gets up in the middle of the night and climbs into bed with her (she has a queen sized bed, so there is plenty of room), but we still believe that Hannah desperately needs her own space. Plus we don't want KK to keep Hannah up.
The other night I was in the girl's bathroom picking up laundry when KK stumbled in, it was well past her bedtime. The following is the conversation we had:
KK: Hey, momma.
Me: Hey, Ms. Mouse, why aren't you sleeping?
KK: I can't.
Me: Uh oh. You need good sleep, sweetie.
KK: I know, but I just can't do it.
Me: Have you tried counting sheep?
KK: What????
ME: Have you tried counting sheep?
KK: Why would I do that?
Me: It helps you fall asleep.
KK: How do I do it?
Me: Close you eyes, picture a pretty green field with a fence in the middle, and them imagine that sheep are jumping over the fence, count them as they jump over.
KK: Why are they jumping over the fence, momma?
Me: I don't know, they just are.
KK: Is something chasing them?
Me: No.
KK: Are they scared?
Me: No, sweetie.
KK: Is there something bad trying to get them?
(clearly she is getting scared for the sheep, she's starting to panic)
Me: No sweetie they are just jumping over the fence.
KK: But if they jump over the fence then they can get out into the road and get runned over!
Me: There's no road on the other side, just more yummy grass.
KK: But who will take care of them over there?

Clearly, this isn't going to put her to sleep - this is sending her into a panic attack.

Me: Never mind, KK, forget out the sheep.
KK: I CAN'T!!!! (sobbing)

Great! Sheep are overrated!