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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I’m going back to bed!

I had big plans for today.  I had a lot that I needed to get done. Jon’s birthday is this Saturday and I haven’t done a whole lot. Not that I need to do a lot, GattiTown is doing most of the work.
Everything was going along great, I dropped the kids off at school and was headed back to the house, on the way home I pass Morrison Farms, a horse farm. I always look over there because there’s usually deer or turkey out in the pasture. Only that’s not what I saw today. Instead I saw this:

My heart died a little right then and there. I immediately pulled over and called my friend Stacey. She was dropping off her kiddos at Central Baptist, I told her what I saw and where I was and she said she’d be there in a minute. I got out of my car and walked through mucky yuck (in my flip flops) and slowly approached the deer. He was struggling. My heart broke even more. He had obviously be hit by a car.
I called the Fire Department. They were no help. There was nothing they could do.
I saw the deer put his head down in the water, bubbles blowing from his nose.
 I cradled his head in my hand, squatting down in the mud puddle my feet sinking ankle deep in the muck. He didn’t even struggle.

 His right leg was obviously broken. He had bloody wounds on him in other spots, but nothing too horrible. But he was on his way out. But I couldn’t leave him there.
Stacey pulled up. She started calling around to see who would help.
A lady stopped and offered to help. Upon seeing me and the deer she started crying. Now there were two crying ladies and a dying deer in a puddle. Awesome.
Several men stopped, one offered to ‘slit its throat and take it home for the meat’. The lady ran him off; I really wish I would have gotten her name; she was very nice and extremely helpful. She ran up to her truck and grabbed some towels. It was then that Stacey called down (we were down in ditch off the road) and told us that a Police Patrolman was on his way. The other lady and I were able to get the deer out of the water and up on dry land; we laid him on his side and covered his head so he wasn’t frightened. He stopped shuddering and struggling.
Finally an Animal Control Officer pulled up. He took a look at the injuries; the bone in the deer’s leg was sticking out about 4 inches. It was bad. He called in and said that a patrolman was indeed needed for a “putdown”. Now the lady with me started crying even harder.
I had been crying on and off and I swiped a tear from my cheek.
“Ma’am, the deer seems to be calmer when you have your hands on him, if possible could you keep your hands on him?”
Really? Really????? Now the deer feels better when I touch him (which is what I hear). So now I start to completely bawl.
A Sherriff pulls up and makes his way down to where we are, at this time the Animal Control Officer says “Ladies, I’ll go ahead and ask y’all to leave. You don’t wanna be here for this. Thank you for your time.”
I called my husband and cried and cried and cried. And he sat on the other end of the phone and let me. He’s awesome like that.
I went home and took the officer's advice and took a shower and washed my clothing in hot water in case I got any ticks on me (and yes, he was covered in ticks and no I really didn't care).
When I got out the shower I grabbed my Tiny, buried my face in her soft fur and told her I loved her.
Now, I'm going back to bed.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I’m on the road to ruin, thanks Lochers!

Thanks to Facebook I’ve found a fabulous website that sells the greatest necklaces known to womankind- Lochers!
I have my favorites. Like this one:

Heehee. I think it’s great for Laura Ledford (blogger for Fetch My Flying Monkeys, go there NOW!!!)

And this one:

How about this one:

Some cuss, a lot, and I try to keep it clean since the kiddos like to copy EVERYTHING I SAY. I want to get this one, though:

Because, yea….
So go on over to Locher’s website:
It you’re easily offended you might wanna skip it. But they crack me up.

Monday, January 23, 2012

I think my doctor is ordering me a straight-jacket. I’m fine with that.

I had to go see my doc today. He’s a great guy. When we leave Mississippi I totally plan to stuff him in my suitcase and bring him with us. Since he is my husband’s doc as well, I think he’ll be fine with it.
My migraines have been pretty much in check with the Topamax, I do have break-through migraines, but I am certainly not suffering like I was before. And I do have little headaches here and there, but I am a mom (and a wife) so that comes with the job.
The Doc asked me all about my health, all the typical stuff. Then asked about my period, (he’s the one who sent me to Dr. Drake in the first place, but I guess my file wasn’t updated yet).
Doc: So let’s talk about your period.
Me: Ooooooo, Let’s!
Doc: How’s it going?
Me: Awesome!
Doc: Still a really heavy flow?
Me: Not at all, it’s like isn’t even there.
Doc: (weird look, probably because of the crazed smile I’m flashing back at him) Still clotting?
Me: No clots, what-so-EVAAAAHHHH!
Doc: You’re messing with me, aren’t you?
Me: Yep!
Doc: Ablation?
Me: Hysterectomy!
Doc: Awesome!
Me: Absolutely!
Then we high-fived. Yea, my doc is the fabulous!
So we talked about my restless leg syndrome, it can keep me up for an entire night. It’s crazy. And since I had such a nasty reaction to Mirapex he was cautious to put me on anything too extreme.
I also told him “Hey, ya know how when I told you about Mirapex causing me nasty headaches and you were all like ‘That’s just unheard of, hhhmmmmm, weird’? Yea, well I did some research and headaches are one of the most common side effects of that drug, over 16% of patients prescribed it had that side effect. Do your research!”
Yea, he loves the verbal beat-down he gets from me.
So, now he’s prescribed me Neurontin. I asked him if he has researched the drug. He shifted around in his seat like he was getting uncomfortable and said “Pffft, of course.” Then he started tapping away at his computer again.
So, here’s to Neurontin knocking my a$$ out and letting me sleep at night!
p.s. I totally know Neurontin will help me out because when my legs get super bad I sneak over to the Hub’s nightstand and steal one of his Neurontin’s (he has issues that needs some tissues as well) and pop one, and within 20 minutes my legs are happy! Woohoo!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

The Boy is becoming more like his father.

Today was a blah day. We really didn't have anything on the calendar and I didn't really want to do anything. I didn't even want to tackle any schoolwork, even though I haven't touched my assignment all week and it's due tomorrow and it's gonna be a monster to complete in one day. I feel like torturing myself, so I will wait until the last possible moment and then complain that I don't have enough time to complete it. Hmmm, I wonder where my kids get their penchant for procrastination? I'll think about that one later, I just don't feel like it right now (see what I mean?).
So I'm lounging in the living room not doing anything in particular, The Hubs is in the room with me. We may or may not have been watching a movie. I can't remember. If we were it probably wasn't that good. The kids were running amuck, just kinda being free-range kids today. They had been outside most of the day. Earlier I had caught them down my the road holding up signs that read "Pizza's $5.00" I yelled at them to get away from the road right now. They dropped their signs and ran back up to the porch where I was. "What the heck do you think y'all are doing?"
"Selling pizza." The look on my oldest daughter's face was a look of oblivion, DUH!
"Um, but y'all don't have any pizzas."
"So, what if someone stopped and wanted a pizza?"
Blank stares.
"Don't go out there by the road again. I'm not kidding."
"Because I'm your mother and I said so. Because I don't want you to get hit by a car. Because you don't have any pizzas to sell. Because it's against child labor laws. Because you don't have a food handlers permit."
"Can we sell snowflakes?"
Now it was my turn to give them the blank stare.
"Well? Can we?"
"Because you don't have any snowflakes to sell! That's why!"

I swear I'm sprouting gray hairs by the minute.

So it started raining and the kiddos had to come inside. All was fine and well. They really play well together. Again, I'm parked on the sofa and Corey's sitting in his chair, I'm pretty sure we're watching a Clint Eastwood movie when we hear Jon calling out from somewhere from the back of the house, "Kimberly! Come here! Kimberly! You gotta see this! It's my biggest poop ever!"
I looked at The Hubs and said "This one's all yours. Have at it."
He looked at me for just a second, "Did he really just say that?"
"Yes, now get in there before Kimberly does!"

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Random Stuff About Me You May or May Not Know also Random Stuff About Me You May or May Not Want To Know (if you don't wanna know then stop reading now).

1. My middle name is Lynn.

2. My father is the bravest man I know.

3. I do not like dogs.

4. My favorite past pet is a dog, Spot, which is why I think I no longer like dogs. No other dog can live up to her.

5. I find my son's laughter addictive.

6. My husband's nighttime driving terrifies me. It would you, too.

7. I have been to Disney World more times that I can remember.

8. I had a wonderful childhood.

9. My second toe on both my feet is longer than my big toe. It is said that this is a sign of royalty. My husband does not believe this.

10. While stationed at Fort Ord, Ca I got to go on a Chinook helicopter ride where they did "nap-of-the-earth", I fell asleep.

11. Morphine makes me very, very mean.

12. My fingernails flip up, seriously - it's not pretty.

13. I believe in ghosts.

14. I have slept in a real, documented haunted house. It. Was. Awesome. (and terrifying, but mostly awesome)

15. I am not superstitious.

16. I have a fear of flying, of heights and of spiders (oh, and of snakes - seriously, lizards without feet????).

17. My husband still gives my tummy butterflies.

18. When it comes to computers I am an idiot. This drives my husband crazy.

19. I love when all three of my kids plus both of my cats curl up in bed with me. This also drives my husband crazy.

20. I am quite dramatic. This also drives my husband crazy.

21. I love shopping at Target, Bath and Body Works, and .... pretty much anywhere. This ALSO drives my husband crazy.

22. I think it's safe to say that I drive my husband crazy, yet he still loves me. I think I am the luckiest woman alive.

23. My mom died when she was just 23 years old. She was 8 1/2 months pregnant. Both she and the baby died.

24. My husband is the strongest/funniest/silliest most honest man I know.

25. Each of my children have amazing talents.

26. One of my fondest childhood memories is my dad singing while playing the guitar. He did this a lot in the evenings. He has an amazing voice.

27. My mom (step-mom) is the most loving woman I know. She has the biggest smile! It will light up a room!

28. I have a mental illness, yet I do not let it define me.

29. I cannot drive in the snow. I do not want to learn how to drive in the snow.

30. My grandmother (maternal) almost died from diphtheria then she was a child.

31. I am addicted to puzzle games like "Professor Layton".

32. I have had six surgeries in my life; three breast biopsies (removal of tumors), 2 c-sections and a hysterectomy (my uterus had over 40 tumors!!!). I am a huge advocate in breast exams and yearly GYN exams. Women, listen up - yes they are uncomfortable but they will save your life.

33. My parents still have the same phone number as they did when I was 5.

34. I have only gotten one traffic ticket in past 20 years. It was for speeding. I was going over 100 mph.  Oh, yea, it was in a national park. I should have been arrested. The only reason I wasn't was the officer that pulled me over recognized Corey, they had been stationed together as Gary Owen Scouts in Korea years earlier. Yes, the fine was hefty. I happily paid it.

35. One of my pet peeves is to hear my kids say "I can't".

36. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to my self image (but aren't we all?).

37. If I won the lottery I would pay off all my parents debts and set them up for life before I did one thing for myself.

38. My husband has been to Korea three times and would love to go again, he says he would love for me and the kids to go with him. I act like I would like to go. I have no interest in going to Korea. None.

39. I hope my husband does not read this post.

40. I hope to give my children as happy of a childhood as I had, seriously - it was a blast. My parents rock!!!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

An Open Letter to my (ex) Uterus

Dear Uterus,
I just enjoyed my first full holiday season (as in Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year) without you.  You were NOT missed! Not one bit. Not even once. You did not even cross my mind!
I take that back. There was one time that I was shopping at the mall that a paused, in a panic thinking “Oh crap, when am I going to start my period??? It will probably start any moment now!” Then I remembered the docs ripped you from my body and incinerated you. I felt nothing but pure joy.
You will never again ruin a family outing. Never again will we have to try and schedule a vacation around you, only to have you show up five days early and ruin everything.
I can only hope what you put me through; the pain, the agony, the despair – does not happen to my daughters, though I do know that what you put me through my aunts and grandma experienced with their uteri.  Although now, having gone through what I have gone through I am more emotionally prepared to support them through their pain.
So, again, I had a great holiday season. You were not missed.


PS  After your removal I held a bonfire, where I burned my stockpile of tampons and maxi pads in my backyard. The freakin’ fire burned for over 6 hours, the inferno grew to over ten feet tall. I’m pretty sure they could see it from space.

Friday, January 13, 2012

So The Plan didn’t work out, and neither did Plan B or C, but that’s okay because The Last Resort turned out to be awesome. So maybe The Last Resort should have been The Plan all along

Last night’s plan was to put the kiddos to bed, take a bath/shower (bath for me, shower for Corey) and then we do what we love doing on Thursday nights; we watch Impractical Jokers. We love this show, it’s hilarious. We look forward to it all week. We got nine minutes into the show and Dish Network locked up. It locked up. It LOCKED THE *&#@ UP!!!!!
We have been having trouble with our Dish Network receiver for over three weeks now. We have called the techs. We have “chatted” online with the techs. We have done all that they tell us to do, which is the same thing over and over and over again; unplug your receiver, wait ten minutes, plug it back in, wait for it to reboot and it will be just fine. Only it’s not. Oh, and they tell us “We’re sending you another signal.”
Um, no you’re not. I’m not stupid!
We have not gotten to watch a full TV episode for three weeks without it messing up. I now hate Dish Network. They have ruined my happiness. And I unleashed my fury on them. They are sending out someone on Monday to replace the receiver this was only after I told them that I had a self-installation kit from Comcast sitting next to my TV just waiting for me to hook up.
So we attempted over and over to reboot the system, only the hard drive kept failing. Then Jon came stumbling into the living room.
“Hey, buddy, what’s wrong?”
“My tummy hurts, I have diarrhea, and my mouth is all slobbery.” He was holding his tummy. Flashback to earlier this evening; we had went out to eat at Papito’s (Jon loves their queso), and he ate a lot. Not just queso, but chicken nuggets and fries as well. This is the kid that doesn’t eat much at all, so when he does eat we cheer him on, but his tummy isn’t used to eating so much. Then afterwards we went to 32*, it’s a frozen yogurt bar. The kids loaded up their cups with their frozen yogurt and all sorts of toppings. So this was even more for his tummy to take in and digest. Now he was paying the price.
I jumped up off the couch, “Ya wanna lie down in mom and dad’s bed?” I led him into our room and lifted him onto the bed; he instantly snugged into the covers with a smile.
“I give up on Dish Network; I’m going to bed, too.” That was Corey coming into the room.
Now it was just me trying to get the cable working. My frustration was getting the best of me. I gave up, turned off the TV and started to head to bed, contemplating whether to take Jon back to his room or to just slide in next to him. There was plenty of room for the three of us, so I was leaning towards the latter. Then I remembered that Calvin had run out the door when we got back from town. It was well past 10:00 now and the temp was already 40 degrees and dropping. I went out the side door and called for him. No luck. I went to the front porch and called from him. No luck. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? I knew it was supposed to get below freezing, and leaving him outside was not an option. I love my cat dearly; I’d sit outside wrapped in a blanket calling for him & waiting for him if I had to.  I went back out to the carport and checked in the storage shed, sometimes he’ll run in there when Corey is getting the dog food out and he’ll get shut up in there. No luck. I walked out to the side of the house and called. No luck. I walked over to the other side of the house and called, here he comes from the neighbor’s house. Traitor. But I was happy he was safe and sound. Back inside the house I fed him and Tiny and went and checked on the girls.
Hannah was fine, KK looked up at me with sleep eyes, “Mama, can we snuggle?”
My heart melted, “Sure, sweetie. Come on.”
I grabbed a goose-down comforter and we headed upstairs to the guest room, we have a king-sized bed in there. We snuggled under the comforter that was already on the bed, plus the goose-down one (the upstairs can get a bit chilly in this old house!). KK snuggled in close to me. Then Calvin jumped up on the bed. Calvin is not a snuggler, he is not a social cat. It’s just the way he is. He sleeps up on his cat tree. He is happy there and we all know not to mess with him. But he circled around by my feet, found a comfy spot and crashed out. OMG!!!! THEN Tiny jumped up and wiggled her way up under the covers (she does this all the time), crawled down the side of my leg and curled up.
This, right here, was as close to heaven as I’ve gotten this far in life!!! I was one happy lady; KK, Calvin and Tiny (plus I knew any minute Hannah would we up here, it’s like she has a radar and knows when I’m upstairs)!! So The Plan didn’t work out, and neither did Plan B or C, but that’s okay because The Last Resort turned out to be awesome. So maybe The Last Resort should have been The Plan all along.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

You've got questions, I've got answers. An update on last week's post. Spoiler: No I haven't found her :(

I know some people may question just how my sister took my identity or ran up any fraudulent debt. It was really easy for her to do.

Right after I graduated school, when I still had contact with Donna, I joined the Army. In Basic Training and AIT (MP school) if anyone wrote us they would write our names, followed by our social security numbers, then our unit and so on. Brilliant, right? Nothing like that sense of security, huh?

We lost contact with me moving to Germany for my first tour and her getting into more and more trouble with the law. I had tracked my sister down when I was stationed at Fort Lewis, Wa. It was painstaking and not easy. But I did do it. I was not mad at her. I just wanted to help her; I wanted my "Donna" back. She admitted to me that she had gotten a driver’s license from the state of Florida with my information on it but her picture. I was shocked and could not figure out how this had happened. She was really quite proud of herself and was shocked at how easy she had accomplished "assuming someone else’s identity". 

She went into the DMV and told them her purse had gotten stolen and that her driver's license was in the purse, so therefor it was stolen as well. She was informed that this happens all the time, all they needed was her name, date of birth, home of record, and social security number. Not that hard, she was my sister. She knew my full name, date of birth, home of record (duh, my home of record is her home of record) and thanks for the Army she knew my SSN.

Even back then the system was computerized. They pulled up my (as in MY driver’s license) and took a good look at it. She and I look(ed) a lot alike. All she had to say was "Sorry, I've put on a few pounds since High School", since she did weigh a little more than me back them. That excuse was good enough for them and they took her pic, printed out a new license and sent her on her way. She was now Lisa Smith and had a clean slate. No police record, no creditors coming after her. She was golden.

She did tell me that she had another name she went by, too. I asked her how she pulled that one off. She was even more excited about how she accomplished this.

"It's really easy," she told me. "But it takes some research. You just have to find someone who is about your age-or who would be your age. But who died before their first birthday. But they had to have died in another state than the one they were born. States don't cross check. You request the birth certificate from the city, then the social, and now you're a whole new person."

It scared me how versed she was in scamming and cheating and lying. But she was still my sister. And I still thought I could "save" her. I found out that I could not.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I shouldn’t have to protect my kids against this, yet I do and I WILL!!!

I’ve never used this blog to smear anyone. I try to be diplomatic. I try to be nice. But this blog is about my kids, their lives and what affects them. And right now the gloves are coming off. I’m mad and I think you can tell.
Hannah is 9. We lived in Texas until she was 7, when the Army dictated that we move to Mississippi.  During those seven years we spent a lot of time with “granny” (Corey’s mom). Hannah grew very attached to her. After the move “granny” distanced herself emotionally from us and it was very difficult on Hannah. She did not understand why she was being “forgotten”.
Our families have had their ups and downs as happens with most families. But to me you should never hurt a child. In fact, you should go out of your way to NOT hurt them. So even though “she” and I did not always see eye to eye I have never kept the kids from her. I have never avoided a phone call from her, as the kids would love to hear her voice. And I would never hide a card or letter she sent, they would adore getting anything in the mail. But apparently jotting down a few lines, putting it in an envelope, addressing it, slapping a stamp on it and mailing the letter is too hard. So is picking up the phone and punching in our number. (And yes, we have called her; only nine times out of ten it goes unanswered).
So it’s no wonder why Hannah (as well as Jon and KK) are heartbroken that they have been forgotten this Christmas.  And as Hannah said “Not even a Christmas card came from her.”
I have fielded questions from Hannah for a while. A few months ago Hannah even questioned as to whether her granny had died.
Today, 17 days after Christmas, I guess she finally just gave up.
I picked the kids from school and we chit-chatted while I drove home, but I noticed Hannah was especially quiet. After parking under the carport Jon and KK piled out of the car but Hannah stayed sitting where she was.
I ruffled her hair, “What’s up?”
“Nothing came.”
“Whatcha mean?”
“Nothing came from Granny, for Christmas. No present. No card. No letter. Just…..nothing.” Her voice was starting to crack. I leaned over and hugged her. “She didn’t just forget about us, mom. She doesn’t love us anymore. I don’t think she ever did.”
The tears finally came and I let her cry it out. How can she understand when I don’t even understand? How can you just write a child off?
Kids have enough trouble with the pains of this world and bullies in society they certainly don’t need their own family bullying them. I just think it’s sad. It disgusts me.
The Hubs and I contemplated getting the kids one gift each and “acting” like it was from their granny. But that would be an injustice to them. It would be lying to them. And that’s not right either. So this is an ugly life lesson that they are having to learn, as much as I want to shield them from it. And learn from it, they will. They will be stronger, maybe a little bitter. I understand that. But I vow to protect them from future hurt like this, they don’t deserve it!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Just to hear my sister's voice would be awesome, just knowing that she is still alive .... So, I guess I'm desperately seeking Donna Smith ..... still.

I spent hours today online searching for my sister. No, I still have no leads. This year will mark 21 years since I have seen her. It also marks 10 years since anyone has heard from her. This is what I have discovered though:

1. Florida has a lot of Donna Smiths in their inmate database.

2. I looked at more mugshots of "Donna Smith" than I ever want to ever again (none turned out to be my sister).

3. Why can't I just do a warrant or inmate search with a social security number?

4. You can do a search through the Social Security Administration with any one's SSN.

5. My sister's Social Security number is still "active".

6. An "active" SSN does not mean much, only that a "Jane Doe" was not brought in to a morgue, finger printed and ID'ed as my sister.

7. Searching for someone who does not want to be found can be really really hard.

8. Searching for someone who does not want tot be found can be really really depressing.

9. Just when I'm at my wit's end and ready to quit, something makes me keep searching because "what if I'm one click away from finding her?"

10. There really is no "10", I just didn't wanna end it on "9". Sorry.

I know if I found her she is no longer the "Donna" that I grew up with. She isn't the sister I am looking for. Still, I just can't let go.