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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I shouldn’t have to protect my kids against this, yet I do and I WILL!!!

I’ve never used this blog to smear anyone. I try to be diplomatic. I try to be nice. But this blog is about my kids, their lives and what affects them. And right now the gloves are coming off. I’m mad and I think you can tell.
Hannah is 9. We lived in Texas until she was 7, when the Army dictated that we move to Mississippi.  During those seven years we spent a lot of time with “granny” (Corey’s mom). Hannah grew very attached to her. After the move “granny” distanced herself emotionally from us and it was very difficult on Hannah. She did not understand why she was being “forgotten”.
Our families have had their ups and downs as happens with most families. But to me you should never hurt a child. In fact, you should go out of your way to NOT hurt them. So even though “she” and I did not always see eye to eye I have never kept the kids from her. I have never avoided a phone call from her, as the kids would love to hear her voice. And I would never hide a card or letter she sent, they would adore getting anything in the mail. But apparently jotting down a few lines, putting it in an envelope, addressing it, slapping a stamp on it and mailing the letter is too hard. So is picking up the phone and punching in our number. (And yes, we have called her; only nine times out of ten it goes unanswered).
So it’s no wonder why Hannah (as well as Jon and KK) are heartbroken that they have been forgotten this Christmas.  And as Hannah said “Not even a Christmas card came from her.”
I have fielded questions from Hannah for a while. A few months ago Hannah even questioned as to whether her granny had died.
Today, 17 days after Christmas, I guess she finally just gave up.
I picked the kids from school and we chit-chatted while I drove home, but I noticed Hannah was especially quiet. After parking under the carport Jon and KK piled out of the car but Hannah stayed sitting where she was.
I ruffled her hair, “What’s up?”
“Nothing came.”
“Whatcha mean?”
“Nothing came from Granny, for Christmas. No present. No card. No letter. Just…..nothing.” Her voice was starting to crack. I leaned over and hugged her. “She didn’t just forget about us, mom. She doesn’t love us anymore. I don’t think she ever did.”
The tears finally came and I let her cry it out. How can she understand when I don’t even understand? How can you just write a child off?
Kids have enough trouble with the pains of this world and bullies in society they certainly don’t need their own family bullying them. I just think it’s sad. It disgusts me.
The Hubs and I contemplated getting the kids one gift each and “acting” like it was from their granny. But that would be an injustice to them. It would be lying to them. And that’s not right either. So this is an ugly life lesson that they are having to learn, as much as I want to shield them from it. And learn from it, they will. They will be stronger, maybe a little bitter. I understand that. But I vow to protect them from future hurt like this, they don’t deserve it!