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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

This one's gonna piss some people off, good! But sometimes a kid is just a kid!

I love to read blogs. I read, read, read. I can’t get enough of them. But there seems to be something CRAZY going on. And that’s the number of kids who have been diagnosed ADD and ADHD.
Before you start throwing stones at me or defriending me please just listen.  I understand if a child is diagnosed with autism or Asperger’s.  I get it. I do. Please don’t feel like I’m “picking” on you. I also understand if you child legitimately has ADD or ADHD. I’m just thinking that way too many parents are unable to control their kids, so they go see a psychiatrist who is more than happy to give them a diagnosis of ADD or ADHD, because – hey, with a diagnosis the kid keeps coming back and they get more money. Makes sense.
The Hubs and I went down this road a long time ago with our oldest. She was rambunctious, she was a little on the wild side, she didn’t really pay attention in class. So we took her to psychiatrist after psychiatrist. We tried this pill and that pill. It was a roller coaster ride for us; I can’t imagine what it was like for Hannah. I feel like we stole her childhood, I really do.
After years (yea, years people!) we finally said “Enough!”  We realized that she was just being the kiddo that we had allowed to be – free-spirited and a little crazy.
Our daughter didn’t have ADHD, she wasn’t manic depressive, and she wasn’t schizophrenic. SHE WAS A CHILD!!!!!
Maybe if we just accepted that our kids aren’t perfect, that they can rough-house and be kids, that childhood is time for learning and wonderment then we wouldn’t all be rushing our kids in to the shrink for magic pills. Sometimes an imaginary friend is just that, an imaginary friend. How about we step up to the plate and be parents instead of shoving pills down our kids’ throats and setting them in front of the tv or video game. Hey, there’s an awesome idea!
Instead of making excuses become a parent. I’d love for once to hear a story of a parent who took their defiant child to the doc and said “Look, doc, I’m not sure what the problem is, but Little Timmy is out of control, he doesn’t listen, he yells and screams, he’s in trouble at school. We’re thinking it may be ‘Oppositional Defiant Disorder’.”
And the doctor responds with, “I’ll tell you what the problem is – it’s YOU! You aren’t being a parent. You aren’t disciplining Little Timmy when he acts like a turd. He’s screaming out for some order in his world of chaos. He doesn’t have ‘ODD’, he has a negligent parent. Now get the hell out of my office before I call Child Protective Services for neglect. And that’s what this is NEGLECT! Be the parent your child needs you to be. He didn’t ask to be born!”
Ugh. No child is perfect, just like no parent is perfect. We stumble along as best as we can. But let me tell you something, you can’t be your child’s best friend and their parent. You’re their parent first!