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Friday, May 13, 2011

This is Almost Too Disgusting to Post. Keyword: Almost

This past weekend I cleaned out the freezer and the fridge, throwing out all the old meat and all the old leftovers that were going bad or had gone bad. I should have waited until closer to “trash day” but the urge hit me to clean right then and I know me if I don’t do it then then I’ll put it off another month, or two, or five….
Anyhow, I cleaned out all the disgusting old food and meats, it took two large trash bags, I hauled them out to the trash cans outside and there they sat; in the Mississippi heat. I forgot about them until this morning when my husband called me outside. It seems a hungry critter had knocked the cans over spilling the contents onto the ground.
“Hey! There are little white worms all over the ground out here! What are these things?” He is absolutely clueless. He is standing over the carnage that was our nicely manicured lawn. I have now strolled outside, in my bare feet to inspect the damage.
“Maggots!” I scream, before dashing back inside to put on steel-toed work books. I am armed with garbage bags, disinfectant spray, bleach, brooms, and bug spray as I head back outside to clean up.
By now all the kids have come outside to see what all the ruckus is about. Each one has something different to say, yet none of them seems disgusted. They are fascinated with these little creatures.
Before I can sweep up the last of them my son yells “Wait, mom! Let me get a Tupperware bowl!” and he disappears back inside.
My brain puts two and two together and tell him “No, absolutely not!” as he comes back out bringing one of my brand new containers in his hands.
“But, mom, I want to bring them for show-n-tell! Come on!” His eyes are absolutely begging me to change my mind.
“No way pal, put the bowl up now.”
“Dang it, I’d have had the most gross thing for sure.” He mumbled.  For a moment I considered telling his teacher that the boys in class had a running bet on who could bring the grossest show-n-tell, but by now I’m guessing she already knows.