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Thursday, March 8, 2012

Mother of the Year right here, folks. Mother….. Of the…….. YEAR!!!!

None of the kids wanted to get out of bed this morning. I can’t blame them. I didn’t want to either. But school and certain laws legislate that they go. So I finally got them up one by one – hey, with The Hubs gone they clearly outnumber me now, and I’m pretty sure they know it.
So Jon is the first to the table. “Watcha want for breakfast, big man? Oh, and just so ya know, since you didn’t get up on time don’t put in a request for a big meal, mmmmkay?”
“Okay, I’ll have bacon, eggs and pancakes.” I can tell by the look in his still-sleepy eyes that he is dead serious.
“Let’s try that again, okay pal?”
He repeats his order, only now with more enthusiasm, awesome – his appetite is in full swing!
“Look, you got up late, I don’t have time to make all that. You have to take off the bacon, maybe even the eggs.”
This does not sit well with The Boy. “What?  That’s not fair!”
Yea, tell me about it pal. “Look, there will come a daaaaayyyyy….” Wait a minute I know a song that says those exact words. What is that song? Who sang it? Hmmmm, it must be a good lesson-type song. I should definitely sing it to The Boy!
I clear my throat and sing with all my heart, “There will come a day, when youth will pass awaaaaaay,” (inner monolog: Ah hah! It’s coming back to me! How does the rest of the song go? Who the heck sings it??? Oh well, keep singing-it has to be an awesome lesson song!)Doobidiiiidooop! What will they say about me?” (inner monolog: Oh yea, I’ve got this. Now to just remember the words. WHO THE HECK SANG THIS SONG????)When the end comes I know, I was just a ggggggggggggg……..OOOOOOHHHHHH NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!”
HOLY CRAP! I’ve just song Just A Gigolo to my son!!!!! No No No No No No!!!!! There is a special place in hell for mothers like me!
I stare at The Boy, who is in turn staring at me “What mom, you were just a what?”
I was just a joke. And life goes on without me!” I smile way too big.
“That makes no sense.”
I shrug just going with it, “Yea, well, life doesn’t make sense. So there you have it!” And then I turned around and made bacon, eggs and pancakes.