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Thursday, September 8, 2011

This Doc Would Suck As a Psychiatrist or a Motivational Speaker, Really.

Sorry I haven’t written on this blog in a few days, my world has been flip-flopped upside down and I have good intentions on writing and then when I sit down to put my thoughts on paper they just don’t come out right. That’s just the way it is…..mmmmkay?
So, I went to the girlie doc because I personally believe that when you have been dealing with a cycle that comes every 20 to 21 days is just crazy, and it hangs around from about 10 days…yep, do the math and that means I’m off of it as much as I’m on it. So I have every reason to be a crazy, evil “meaniac” (that’s my kids’ favorite word right now, it’s “meanie” and “maniac” rolled up into one word. I love it!)
So I’m there for my checkup and because I have a mass in my breast (same one I’ve always had problems with, 3 surgeries – biopsies- and I thought I was doing great) that my regular doc found last week. And, of course this is a new doc for me, so he wants my history so I’m basically giving the highlights. It goes like this:
Doc: How about your mother, any medical issues that are prominent?
Me: Not sure, she passed away when I was a baby – the death certificate read cardiac arrest. She was just 23, and…(yes, he cuts me off)
Doc: What about siblings, do you have a sister with any breast or ovarian cancer?
Me: Um, well, she disappeared about 10 or 11 years ago in Florida, so I have no way of knowing what her health is like.
Doc: Mmmhmmm, I think I saw this movie.
Me: Yea, it’s my life story.
Doc: Any other siblings at all?
Me: No, my mother was nearly 9 months pregnant when she passed and the baby passed as well. So it was just my sister and I.
Doc: You sure this wasn’t a Lifetime movie? Valerie Bertinelli was in it?
Me: If so I’m suing for royalties.
Doc: Jeez, your life is a tragedy.

Thanks, doc. Can I have some Xanax now, you’ve officially depressed me.
*In retrospect, I have to say that this doc is amazing. He really is great, he just has a quirky way about him. But he does make me laugh, which is important when your dealing with a pretty crappy situation.