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Saturday, September 17, 2011

There Is No Reasoning Here, I See This Now

First off just let me say that I know that I have an addiction. My addiction comes every two weeks in the form of a big yellow truck that pulls right up to my house. The Schwan’s Guy!!!!  I have been known to plot out my meal plans according to what he has in stock.  I have also been known to spot a Schwan’s truck in a parking lot downtown and realize that I need something, so I whip into the parking lot, pull up alongside this truck and wait for him to return so I can claim my treasure.
My dresser drawers may be in chaos, and I may have 12 junk drawers in the kitchen (shut up), but my deep freeze is dress-right-dress and in perfect order. My Schwan’s guy comes every other Friday, and I always have my order placed online by Tuesday of that week. Tim (my Schwan’s guy) always calls me around 8:30 that Friday morning to tell me he’s on his way from Magee where the factory is.  I am ALWAYS at home and ready.  And I ALWAYS order more when he gets here. I know this, he knows this.
Here’s the scenario every Friday:
Tim: (jumping out of his truck of deliciousness) Hello, Ms. Matthews. I have your order packed up and ready……unless there’s more you need. ( I know he has a smirk on his face, I don’t need to see it!)
Me: Well….(nervous laughter) yea, I have a couple more items.
Tim: I thought so. Ok, let’s have the list. (does he know me or what?)
Me: (Pulling out my piece of paper on which I have jotted down the item numbers of the tasty morsels I am craving) Ok, let’s see here…. (I start calling out the numbers and he starts putting them his machine)
And then this happens, it always happens:
Tim: Ya know, Ms. Matthews, your order right now is at $294 (Maybe not always this number, but always a number that is just on the brink of another monumental amount). Why not add another item to make it $300?
Me: (ALWAYS!!!) Sure!
Why? Why do I always do this? Am I winning something extra by making it $300? No! Do I do this anywhere else? No! Am I ever at WalMart checking out and the cashier says “Your total is $294.” Do I ever say “Wait one minute; let me add a rotisserie chicken to make the total $300!” No!
Am I ever headed to the check out at Winn Dixie and trying to total everything up in my head and think “I am only at $294; I should grab 2 magazines and a pack of gum!” No!!!
Am I ever at Justice shopping for the girls and my sales total $294 so I say “Lemme grab a pack of wacky sox so it totals $300.”  Maybe……but that different, now we’re talking fashion.
So, why do I do this with the Schwan’s guy??? I’m perplexed. So, it is my vow to do TWO things different the next time Tim comes. Wanna hear them? Sure you do:
1.)    Stick with the order I already placed, no adding items.
2.)    Well, #1 takes care of #2, because if I stick with #1, then when he says your total is “Blah  blah” (that’s whatever cash number he’ll say) then I won’t  say “Yes, let’s add more”. So there ya go.

We’ll see how this goes.  Send me good vibes, folks, I WILL need them.