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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I Don't Like My Chances AT ALL!!!!

So NASA says there is a satellite that is plummeting towards Earth RIGHT THIS MINUTE, yet they have no idea where it will hit. Wait, what? Isn’t that their job? Track crap that is heading our way? SOMEBODY’S BEEN ASLEEP AT THEIR DESK!!!!
They say they aren’t sure if it will hit in Florida or New York …… (wait for it) …. or Iran or India. In fact the “strike zone” covers all of Earth.
They tell you not to pick up any pieces because they may have sharp edges, not because it’s toxic. Sure, gotcha.
They assure us that it will break into pieces, and that falling space debris has never hurt anyone in the past, of course who would ever believe you if it did happen. I mean think about it, you go to the hospital with a big gaping slash down your arm, and the doc asks “What happened?” You answer “Well, I was walking along and BAM a meteor or something fell from the sky and hit me.” Doc: “Mmmm,hmmm. Have you had anything to drink today?”
Yea, that scenario is really going to go smooth.
NASA says your chances of getting hit by space debris are 1 in 3,200.
Let’s look at other statistics:
Chances of getting into a car accident: 1 in 100 (I’m not yet 40 and have been in 6)
Chances of having a breech pregnancy: 3 in 100 (KK was breech)
Chances of pregnancy with a prolapsed cord: 2.4 in 1,000 (Jon had one of the worst cases of prolapsed cord that the hospital where he was born had seen. In fact, his doc looked over his records just a few weeks ago and read his “birth sheet” and said “It’s a miracle he survived.”  p.s. that was a reality check!)
Chances of being a victim of identity theft: 1 in 465 (yep, that’s me!)
Chances of having an adverse reaction to a prescription drug: 1-in-3,000 (not once, but twice!)
Chances of being attacked by a dog: 1 in 131,890. (happened when I was little)

Ok, so I don’t like my odds. I mean, come on NASA 1 in 3,200????? How many people are on Earth? I mean, all of Earth is in the strike zone right????
So, if you can’t figure out where it will hit just tell me one thing…… just give me the one location where it WON’T hit, cuz that’s where ya’ll can find me.