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Thursday, August 23, 2012

These things just happen to me. I don't know why, I just attract the 'crazy'. Tell me these things happen to you as well.

One of the issues we have had since we moved to College Station are the raccoons. They love our garbage cans. The other night The Hubs went to throw some trash away only to come back, trying to catch his breath and saying, “He’s out there!”
I casually looked up at him thinking, “Well, he’s lost his mind, it was bound to happen, really.”
But once he calmed down The Hubs explained that when he lifted the lid to our garbage can to throw the bag in a raccoon came charging out at him. I gave him the old “Well, he’s probably more afraid of you than you are of him.” But I don’t think he bought it.
But this was my chance to see the furry little bandit, so I ran outside followed closely by The Hubs. Upon seeing the trash bag ON THE GROUND I grumbled “What the fruit? You didn’t even get the bag in the can?”
“Heck no, he jumped outta the can and I threw the bag and turned and ran.” He said.
“Ppfft, he’s just a little ol’ raccoon.” And disappointed I went back inside.
Then tonight The Hubs said he could hear all the raccoons chattering away outside.
Let me set the record straight: He was outside putting the trash cans at the street for trash pick up in the morning, and then had to stay outside after letting Calvin outside- who immediately ran across the street and climbed the neighbor's tree.
So I went outside, and that’s when I had THE IDEA.
Wanna know “THE IDEA”? Of course you do.
“I’m gonna hide out in the back of the car and ambush the raccoons.”
Apparently my crazy ideas are nothing new to The Hubs, he just rolled his eyes and asked if I wanted a water bottle.  Happy that I was not doing anything destructive he went to bed. I set up my post on raccoon spotting duty.
What was I going to do when one came to chow down on our leftover Chinese food? Video tape it, what else? Geez, I’m not some crazy lady.
Then I spotted Calvin who had climbed down from the tree and was sitting in the neighbor's yard by the sidewalk. What I did NOT see was the grown man out for an evening walk about 5 or 6 good strides away from Calvin. I jumped out of the car, started patting my legs and saying “Come to momma, come on sweet boy, come to momma, coma on” (and then I made kissing noises) in the voice that I always say that to Calvin, perfectly mimicking the lady who mistakes her cat for raccoons (the irony of the situation is not lost on me).
The man jumped back from ‘the crazy lady’ and clutched his heart. I can only imagine his horror as he probably thought I was talking to him and not my cat.
Still shaking he asked me “Did you just jump out of that car?”
Me: (totally unphased because at the time I didn’t realize how crazy I probably appeared- I’d also like to point out that I was in pajamas) “Oh, yea, I’m waiting for raccoons.”
His jaw hung open for a three count and then he formed a “Huh.” And then walked away faster than I have ever seen anyone walk before.
I’m sure he went home and told his wife/friends about the crazy lady that jumped out at him saying, “Come to momma”.
Anyhow, Calvin meandered over to me (With what I can only describe as a smile on his face, I mean he just witnessed all this. So yea, he’s a total jerk) and I scooped him up and we went inside.
Corey called out from bed “Did you find any raccoons?
Me: No, but I got Calvin, plus I scared some guy out for a nighttime walk. So I consider it a successful night.
Corey: Are people going to be walking slowly by our house staring tomorrow?
Me: Probably, but I guarantee they’ll be making a wide girth of our house if they do.
With a sigh he rolled over and I plunked down on the couch, still kinda bummed that I didn’t see any raccoon. Oh well, tonight’s a new night!