You Know What, This is War, That's What THIS is, WAR!!!!

It's been getting pretty rough around our house, what with Calvin giving me the stink-eye and trying to kill me every time I walk out of a room. And let's not forget about the toilet paper incident. But last night he did something unforgiveable. A crime so heinous it brings a tear to my eye just remembering that he would do this to his mommy.
I's DMSing (it's a lot like PMSing but instead of the "pre" it's "D" for "during", because, yea - you can figure that out, and it's A WHOLE LOT WORSE!!!!), all I wanted was to lay down in bed with my heating pad and wallow in my own self-pity. So I turned down the covers of the bed, laid out the heating pad on my side and turned it on so it would be nice and warm when I got into bed and then went to brush my teeth.
When I came back THIS is what greeted me:

What the........
And to make matters worse every time I got any where near him he took a swipe at me. Even bribing him with food didn't work.
He's taken this to a whole new level.  I have to send a message loud and clear that in this house "WE DON'T DO BUSINESS WITH TERRORIST!!!"