This is why I can't sleep.

Last night I went to bed at a reasonable hour, considering it was a Saturday night and Hannah had a friend staying the night, so three giggling girls swore they were staying up ALL NIGHT LONG. Of course, as soon as I get comfy The Hubs begins to snore. He's tried everything; the strips, the mouth piece, sprays,... the list goes on. Nothing helps.
So I abandoned my bed and headed to The Boy's room. He had asked me earlier "When dad snores can you come crash with me?"
But when I went to his room he wasn't there. Hmmm, he must have gone to Hannah's room. Cool. I get the whole bed to myself! Stretching out, I tried to get comfy, but then my mind started doing what it LOVES to do; Hmmm, I doubt the girls would let him crash out with them. OH MY GOSH, I bet aliens took him. That's it. I know he's not in my bed. And he's not in his bed. And he wouldn't be in KK's bed. So the only reasonable explanation is alien abduction. I mean, what if we all get up in the morning and I stumble into the kitchen for coffee and I'm all "Hey, where's Jon?" and the girls are all, "We don't know" and I'm all "I thought he crashed out with you guys" and they are all "No way, he's a boy!" and I'm all "Holy crap, he's been abducted by aliens!"
So I got out of bed and followed the giggling to Hannah's room, "Hey, is Jon in here?"
"No way!"
I instantly broke out in a cold sweat.
KK pipped up "I know where he is!"
...
...
...
(come on kid, the suspense is killing me!)
...
...
...
(Hello!?!?!)
...
...
...
"Come on momma, follow me." Then she went to the living room and there was The Boy, crashed out on the couch. So I scooped him up and took him back to his room, and snuggled him, because- let's be honest, he was almost abducted by aliens, and I couldn't get the image of him strapped to a cold metal table with a bright light blinding his eyes, or him zooming through space, lightyears away calling for me. Ugh, horrible, just horrible.
Yea, you try sleeping when you have those imaging flashing through your mind of your kiddo.

No I'm not turning into one of those crazy ladies who paints their cat's nails, this was done out of necessity.

Last week we got a leather couch, we have always had fabric couches, and we have never really freaked out when the cats clawed them. Shame on us.
So with the arrival of this nice couch that had to change.
As soon as the couch arrived 'Rabi ran into the living room, a smile literally spreading onto her furry little face, you could just tell she was saying "For me? Really? It's the biggest scratching post I've ever had! Here, let me try it out!"
And she did.
And we freaked.
She looked at us like "What's your deal? You get me this cool scratching post and then expect me not to use it? Pffft!"
So I searched the internet trying to see what we could do, we don't want to declaw the cats.
We came across "Soft Paws". So we tried them out. It took 4 days, 4 DAYS!!!! to get these on 'Rabi. She hates being held to get loved on, forget being held so that you can clip her nails and shove nail covers on claws.
But it was finally done.
Ta-dah!
What do you think:

And yes, she typically lays in chip box. Apparently it's comfy.

Jon's day!!!

Today is The Boy's birthday. He's 9.
We spent the weekend doing stuff he liked doing: Saturday The Hubs took him to Zero Dark Thirty per his request, he loved it. Then yesterday I took him and his sisters to the carnival that was set up in the mall's parking lot here him town. He rode (nearly) every ride, then proceeded to down a footlong corn dog, a funnel cake, a large pop corn, topped off with a large coke. Then said "when are we having lunch?" Huh?
After the carnival we headed to Toys R Us where he drug me down every-single-aisle-in-that-blessed-store-and-then-down-every-aisle-all-over-again before saying "I think I wanna go to Target." Well, why didn't you just say that in the first place.
Target is my favorite place in the whole entire universe.
So that's where we found ourselves, trying on Marvel comic masks while he tried to decide what to buy with his birthday money from his grandparents.
Here are some pics from the shopping trip:

I think the last one is my favorite, the teeth crack me up. That coupled with KK's eyes that say "I hope that a nice stranger comes along and saves me from this torture!" 

Schmuck

I am not posting that much anymore.
I have lots to write about, trust me- it all bombards me about midnight when I lay down.
And I think to myself "I'm totally gonna write about that tomorrow!" Then the next morning I'm like "Hey, I'm gonna play that new Dream Chronicles game I downloaded ALL DAY LONG. Wait, wasn't there something I was gonna do? Doesn't matter!" Then I go to bed and think "Crap, I did it again!"

Oh, well, NEW YEAR!!!! NEW ME!!!

2012 was crazy. We saw lots of changes. Goodbye Army life, hello civilian life. And trust me, it's different. I'm glad we had that last tour at Camp Shelby so it got us used to not depending so much on the military, because once you are out of the military then government acts like you are the step-child that it never liked in the first place.

We have moved to Texas and love that we are close to family again. Calvin has introduced himself to all the neighbors in his usually style, you know- "Hey you, yea you, see all this stuff here? This stuff right here? It was yours? I say WAS, it's mine now. Yea, I know that technically it's your house and all, but I'd appreciate it if you hear me at the door if you'd go ahead and let me in. I like to change things up a bit, sleep over here one night, over there one night. Resistance is futile." The neighbors seem to tolerate him so far.

The kids are doing great. They love have big classrooms WITH SO MANY KIDS IN EACH ROOM!!!! It really was a culture shock for them.

Ok, so now that all that's out of the way go watch THIS and laugh until you cry (you may want to skip until about 1:10 for this real hilarity to begin, but trust me it's worth it!).

Stuff I found while poking around

I don't know whether to be happy for the dog or sad for the squirrel.

I want to like this, but I can't take my eyes off the picture of the HUGE spider. Seriously, why would you have a picture of a spider??? 

I cracked up way too much at this. Ricky Gervais is hilarious. 

I'm going to try this!

Anytime I need cheering up I'm clicking on this. 

I have a mini-anviety attack every time I see this!

I seriously cannot get enough of Tard.

The youngest one.....she scares me.

I'm sitting on the sofa working hard on my computer  playing Dream Chronicles on the computer when little Kimberly comes up and says "Hey, mom, can you open this?" I look up and she is holding up a box that is as tall as she is. I recognize it as her Princess Collection doll set that she got for Christmas, it has yet to be opened.

Worst. Mom. Ever.

So we set out to the task of setting these gals free. KK has been hog wild for Barbies ever since her Aunt Kim gave her a bunch of Barbies and Barbie stuff that her daughter outgrew (thank you Kim! You have kept KK very occupied!).

As we set each Princess free KK would croon over her, making sure her little high heels were set on right, smoothing her gown, then she would sit her on the foot of the bed. There all the Princesses sat, like they were ready for the theater when I collected the box that they came in and told KK to have fun.
"Yes, ma'am, momma, thank you so much! Love you!" Aaahhhh, my sweet little angel. How did I ever get so fortunate? How did I get so blessed?

And then, it happened. It did not sound like the sweet little 6 year old that was just telling me she loved me, instead it sounded like a drill sergeant on day 1 of basic training.
"Listen up, ladies, and listen up good, I'm not going to repeat it. You will not be called a Princess in this house! No you will not! Do you hear me? There is only one Princess in this house, and you're looking at her. Do I make myself clear?"

Yep, there's the KK I know!

I'd like to say things like this is few and far between but then I'd be a liar. Yea.

So, The Hubs and I are sitting in the living room watching some tv last night, the kiddos are behind us coloring and making art on the table. We can clearly see both KK and Jon's bedroom doors from where we sit.
Now let me just say, when we lived in Mississippi we had a real problem with the kids writing on the doors and the walls. I spent a lot of money on Mr Clean Magic Erasers. So when we moved here we sat the kids down and lectured them about how we would beat them be very disappointed if they wrote on anymore walls or doors.
Okay, back to last night. I glanced over to KK's door and there it was: bright pink marker writing on her door- smack, dab in the middle of her door.

Me: Holy mother of all that's pink, look at KK's door.
The Hubs: Huh?
Me: KK's door! She wrote on it!
KK: (running over to her door) No, momma, see! It's on paper! (and with that she magically lifted the pink letters right off the door. Now I could see the bright pink letters were written on white paper that was then placed on a white door. Very tricky on this old lady eyes! The Hubs and I let out a sigh of relief.)
The Hubs: Very good, KK! That is exactly where you write on, paper and not the door! Very, very good! Go ahead and put that back up on your door!

So we watched her smooth the paper back up onto her bedroom door. Hmmmm, that looks odd.

Me: KK, what did you use to make that paper stick to your door?
KK: Glue, duh!

Awesome!